The Wall Street Journal this week ran a compelling story entitled, “Why Democrats Lost Iowa,” pointing out that Iowa was a “key state that helped elect Barack Obama president.”
It observes, “Iowa was once a center of gravity for both political parties during presidential elections and a key swing state. In recent years it has turned so red that Democrats have little political power in the state and the party’s candidates have few reasons to go.”
No doubt, Democratic Party leaders read the story and reached the same conclusion about the suddenly red, inconvenient flyover state. Their tired candidate for president may as well stay at the beach house with any leftover documents that may prove valuable to his Biden Brand in the future. But surprisingly, party leaders remain confident and steadfast. They know that hard political realities won’t get in the way of pull-out-the-stops, do whatever it takes, modern-day Democrats.
Where there’s a will there’s a way …
Like you, I’ve become considerably more pragmatic over the past few election cycles. So, look for Dems to start wallpapering the state with absentee ballots early next year, regardless of whether the state legislature so rules, or whether voters ask for them. Just be careful not to trip over bundles of ballots near drop boxes and in downtown Des Moines and Cedar Rapids post offices. They’ll be everywhere.
Speaking of unrequested absentee ballots and drop boxes, Mark Zuckerberg may have read the article and switched his focus, putting cage match training on hold. He’s got some quick work to do to see to it that part of this election cycle’s gregarious $500 million in campaign finance donations strategically places Meta boxes in every blue district.
This while the exceedingly litigious left keeps an eagle eye out for election law offenders like Dinesh D’Souza who dared to give a few thousand dollars over limit to non-progressive candidates.
You know the new Zuckerberg rule, “Campaign finance law for thee but not for me.”
Also count on the fact that unless you’re reading your opinion pieces on WND or X, this column and others like it will be swiftly labeled “Russian disinformation” and scrubbed from Facebook and the planet thanks to the wonders of Silicon Valley-developed A.I.
If all this somehow fails and Iowans remain stubbornly and overwhelmingly red, the final backstop insurance policy may be those supposedly offline but online tabulating machines in suburbs and agricultural districts that mysteriously break down on voting day. Republicans seem to have horrible luck with that otherwise dependable technology, you understand. Ask Kari Lake.
The devoutly progressive cult in D.C. and legacy media will likely be fasting on almond milk lattes, praying to the god of Climate Change that long lines of hours-delayed suburban voters will suffer a colder than normal election day. The unfortunate choice will be frostbite or casting a vote. Iowa is hardly Arizona that time of year.
And call me overconfident in the modern left’s refined art of election chicanery if you like, but I’m pretty sure some new strain of blue flu will hit just in time to keep in-person voters anyway from those germy, super-spreader polling places. Perhaps by then the unclean practice will be forbidden by our increasingly caring and protective federal government. “Sorry, it’s for your own good” … kind of like the Trump indictments. All of them.
Yes, my conservative friend, when all is said and done and the votes are eventually tabulated weeks after Election Day, look for a surprising “blue wave” upset to gently sweep over unsuspecting Iowa, regardless of the deeply red, deeply appreciative farming community that drives its statewide economy.
Unless you’re exceedingly proactive this time around, rest assured Iowa and other red-leaning swing states will become yet another media-celebrated, unsolved political mystery – one Sherlock Holmes himself would not dare solve for fear of legal prosecution.
There’s a roomful of unworried Democratic operatives somewhere in Iowa today with the Wall Street Journal article in hand, snickering, “One can’t be too thorough in these ‘free and fair elections’ people – so get to work!”
However, they are hoping against hope that their less-than-articulate octogenarian candidate doesn’t spill the beans out loud again with conviction in his voice: “We have put together I think the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics.”
Mr. President, with due respect, there are inside thoughts and outside thoughts. I’m pretty sure that’s an inside one, particularly if you plan to win deep red Iowa and other red-leaning swing states against all odds.
